Part 2: It All Goes Downhill
By February of 2012, I had already started talking to someone else (T.K.) who had been making a desperate effort to talk to me for months. He was a senior like my older sister, and he also liked mentioning that they had the same class together. I should have known he was sketchy from the beginning because from the minute he DM'ed me first, he said "Let's just keep us on the down low. Don't tell anyone we're talking." Of course I found this ridiculous, so I ended up telling everyone. We only lasted a couple of weeks and because we dated around a specific holiday, he ended up being my first Valentine. The first time we broke up, I lied and said that I needed to concentrate in school but in reality, I had lost feelings because I knew there was something weird about him. I mean who says "I love you" a day into the relationship and constantly talks about someone's (my) virginity? Eventually feeling bad, I took T.K. back again in the month of May. Here's when everything went downhill for me.
In the last three weeks of my sophomore year, so many events were going on on campus. Week one was Senior Spirit Week, week two was c/o 2012's graduation, and week three was the last week of school. In the days prior to Senior Spirit Week, out of nowhere I began hearing people call me a slut or whore, saying I slept around with many boys (even though I was very much still a virgin). I never understood what was going on until one of my best friends who was also a senior (K.M.) pulled me on the side after school one day and said "I don't think you should be going on with T.K. I over heard him talking about you in class to his friend (J.M.) and it wasn't good." Because I always believed the good in people, I refused to listen to K.M.'s warning and still stayed with him.
Two days after my best friend and I talked, we had a Spring Band Concert held at Pearl City Cultural Center. *It's important to note that the assigned dress up day for senior spirit week was 'Nerd Day.'* Upon arriving at this location, one of my older sister's friends began sticking to my side for most of the night. She was being oddly nice and kept trying to start conversations with me while the band practiced getting on/off the stage. We were all told to situate ourselves in the first four rows in front of the stage because our audience was going to be let in. When I sat down and got comfortable, I noticed that on my right was my sister's friend, GR.F., and to my left was her sister GL.F. Out of nowhere, GR.F. turned to me and said "Don't you think the outfit your sister wore to school today was slutty?" Immediately adding her own words, GL.F. joined in and said "Yeah. Nerds don't even dress like that." Catching me off guard with their comments, I hesitantly agreed in hopes of getting something more out of them, but they just looked at one another and smirked before facing forward and not speaking to me the rest of the night. I knew I had said something wrong...or right to please their minds.
The concert ended and I met up with my family in the audience to start heading home. Living in Waipahu, home was only less than 15 minutes away. During the drive, I took out my phone and scrolled through Facebook when I saw GR.F.'s post saying "Nerd day isn't an excuse to dress like a slut." Knowing exactly who she was referring to, I immediately showed my older sister (N.D.) and mom. I was determined to reply right then and there, but I remembered that GR.F. has always been jealous of my sister since middle school. She was never a real friend to begin with since she was constantly starting rumors about N.D. only to suck up to my sister shortly after. By the time we got got home, I had already changed out of my concert clothes when my mom came into my room and asked me what else GR.F. was saying and to comment asking "Is this about N.D.?" Doing as I was told, the bully herself commented back saying, "No. Stop assuming shit." It wasn't long until ALL of GR.F.'s friends began commenting on the post saying the same exact thing.
I've experienced seeing a loved one get bullied, but getting bullied myself was a first for me. I told my mom that I was scared for my own safety, but she advised me to just sleep it off and it would all blow over in the morning. I cried myself to sleep. I wondered what I said wrong. I woke up at 5:00 am the next morning and the first thing I did was check the Facebook comments. There were about 100 replies pretty much talking about me. Many of them read:
"Who even is Rianna? Last time I checked, she was only known for being N.D.'s sister."
"She's irrelevant."
"She's a nobody."
"She's only seeking attention just like her older sister."
"Honestly, if GR.F wasn't a senior, she could beat Rianna up like nothing."
"We should beat her up."
"Yeah I'll join you. Let's do it!"
I couldn't believe what these BULLIES were saying about me, and for what right?
For the first time in my life, I felt weak. I begged my mom not to go to school, but she insisted that I needed to present myself as someone who was unbothered about the situation, and to protect my older sister. Feeling ashamed, I ended up getting ready for school. I got dropped off at 6:30 am and I went straight to my teacher, T's, classroom. I seated myself at a desk and began looking through the old and new comments from the same Facebook post. I hid my face from T as I teared up at the things I read. I couldn't understand why people were so cruel when all I did was protect my sister, and now I was the one being punished. One by one my friends arrived on campus and they'd ask how I got involved with the seniors. I told them my side of the story, but it felt like they were being nosey rather than actually wanting to help me. After I finished talking, they avoided being near me as much as possible, and my own boyfriend, T.K. was one of them.
While walking to first period, I felt so unsafe. V.J., a friend who actually comforted me that morning, offered to escort me to class and I couldn't help but stare at the ground during the whole walk. You know in the movies when someone becomes the talk of the school, and while they are walking in the hallway, students are lined up along the sides of the hall all talking about that one person? I swear to you that is exactly what happened. There were people moving on the side, pointing and staring, or loudly whispering "That's her right? That's Rianna? N.D.'s younger sister?" Already being fragile, I tried extremely hard to hold in my tears because I didn't want anyone to see me break.
I couldn't even concentrate once I sat down in US History. The class was eighty minutes long, but I wished it could be longer so I could stay indoors all day. I wasn't ready to go out and show my face. I was too scared. When class ended, I looked around hoping someone would save me or at least be my bodyguard to walk me directly downstairs to my homeroom. Taking a deep breath, I told myself "It's only right there. All you have to do is walk down those stairs. As long as you keep your head down, you'll be okay." before heading towards my advisory. Everything was going as planned until I got outside of the advisory doors. Right before I was about to walk in, a senior, A.I., who was a senior and also friends with GR.F., shoved my shoulder so hard I took a few steps backwards into the wall. The she said, "Watch where you're going." before she smiled and walked away.
In the last three weeks of my sophomore year, so many events were going on on campus. Week one was Senior Spirit Week, week two was c/o 2012's graduation, and week three was the last week of school. In the days prior to Senior Spirit Week, out of nowhere I began hearing people call me a slut or whore, saying I slept around with many boys (even though I was very much still a virgin). I never understood what was going on until one of my best friends who was also a senior (K.M.) pulled me on the side after school one day and said "I don't think you should be going on with T.K. I over heard him talking about you in class to his friend (J.M.) and it wasn't good." Because I always believed the good in people, I refused to listen to K.M.'s warning and still stayed with him.
Two days after my best friend and I talked, we had a Spring Band Concert held at Pearl City Cultural Center. *It's important to note that the assigned dress up day for senior spirit week was 'Nerd Day.'* Upon arriving at this location, one of my older sister's friends began sticking to my side for most of the night. She was being oddly nice and kept trying to start conversations with me while the band practiced getting on/off the stage. We were all told to situate ourselves in the first four rows in front of the stage because our audience was going to be let in. When I sat down and got comfortable, I noticed that on my right was my sister's friend, GR.F., and to my left was her sister GL.F. Out of nowhere, GR.F. turned to me and said "Don't you think the outfit your sister wore to school today was slutty?" Immediately adding her own words, GL.F. joined in and said "Yeah. Nerds don't even dress like that." Catching me off guard with their comments, I hesitantly agreed in hopes of getting something more out of them, but they just looked at one another and smirked before facing forward and not speaking to me the rest of the night. I knew I had said something wrong...or right to please their minds.
The concert ended and I met up with my family in the audience to start heading home. Living in Waipahu, home was only less than 15 minutes away. During the drive, I took out my phone and scrolled through Facebook when I saw GR.F.'s post saying "Nerd day isn't an excuse to dress like a slut." Knowing exactly who she was referring to, I immediately showed my older sister (N.D.) and mom. I was determined to reply right then and there, but I remembered that GR.F. has always been jealous of my sister since middle school. She was never a real friend to begin with since she was constantly starting rumors about N.D. only to suck up to my sister shortly after. By the time we got got home, I had already changed out of my concert clothes when my mom came into my room and asked me what else GR.F. was saying and to comment asking "Is this about N.D.?" Doing as I was told, the bully herself commented back saying, "No. Stop assuming shit." It wasn't long until ALL of GR.F.'s friends began commenting on the post saying the same exact thing.
I've experienced seeing a loved one get bullied, but getting bullied myself was a first for me. I told my mom that I was scared for my own safety, but she advised me to just sleep it off and it would all blow over in the morning. I cried myself to sleep. I wondered what I said wrong. I woke up at 5:00 am the next morning and the first thing I did was check the Facebook comments. There were about 100 replies pretty much talking about me. Many of them read:
"Who even is Rianna? Last time I checked, she was only known for being N.D.'s sister."
"She's irrelevant."
"She's a nobody."
"She's only seeking attention just like her older sister."
"Honestly, if GR.F wasn't a senior, she could beat Rianna up like nothing."
"We should beat her up."
"Yeah I'll join you. Let's do it!"
I couldn't believe what these BULLIES were saying about me, and for what right?
For the first time in my life, I felt weak. I begged my mom not to go to school, but she insisted that I needed to present myself as someone who was unbothered about the situation, and to protect my older sister. Feeling ashamed, I ended up getting ready for school. I got dropped off at 6:30 am and I went straight to my teacher, T's, classroom. I seated myself at a desk and began looking through the old and new comments from the same Facebook post. I hid my face from T as I teared up at the things I read. I couldn't understand why people were so cruel when all I did was protect my sister, and now I was the one being punished. One by one my friends arrived on campus and they'd ask how I got involved with the seniors. I told them my side of the story, but it felt like they were being nosey rather than actually wanting to help me. After I finished talking, they avoided being near me as much as possible, and my own boyfriend, T.K. was one of them.
While walking to first period, I felt so unsafe. V.J., a friend who actually comforted me that morning, offered to escort me to class and I couldn't help but stare at the ground during the whole walk. You know in the movies when someone becomes the talk of the school, and while they are walking in the hallway, students are lined up along the sides of the hall all talking about that one person? I swear to you that is exactly what happened. There were people moving on the side, pointing and staring, or loudly whispering "That's her right? That's Rianna? N.D.'s younger sister?" Already being fragile, I tried extremely hard to hold in my tears because I didn't want anyone to see me break.
I couldn't even concentrate once I sat down in US History. The class was eighty minutes long, but I wished it could be longer so I could stay indoors all day. I wasn't ready to go out and show my face. I was too scared. When class ended, I looked around hoping someone would save me or at least be my bodyguard to walk me directly downstairs to my homeroom. Taking a deep breath, I told myself "It's only right there. All you have to do is walk down those stairs. As long as you keep your head down, you'll be okay." before heading towards my advisory. Everything was going as planned until I got outside of the advisory doors. Right before I was about to walk in, a senior, A.I., who was a senior and also friends with GR.F., shoved my shoulder so hard I took a few steps backwards into the wall. The she said, "Watch where you're going." before she smiled and walked away.
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